November 18, 1986
“Congratulations! You have a beautiful baby girl,” announced the nurse. My husband, Don, was there at my side with a white mask around his face. His eyes twinkled at me as he proudly announced, “She has peachy skin just like me.” And that was how Joy’s life began.
Both my husband Don and I grew up in a rural community in Central Pennsylvania in Pennsylvania Dutch families. I was a physical education teacher at a local school district and Don was self-employed in agriculture and operated a hunting preserve. We have a 630-acre farm in a rural middle-class community where our children attended public school. We were high school sweethearts. We married on December 21, 1974. (Meaning we celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary on December 2024! It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s always been worth it.)
We have three children. Our son, Mike, is the oldest. Our daughter, Jill, is the middle child and our youngest daughter is Joy.
Joy was a beautiful toddler with dark blonde hair and big blue eyes. At 12 months of age, Joy’s pediatrician wanted her hearing checked. I was alarmed because up until this point no one would acknowledge the red flags I’d seen since Joy was about seven weeks old. Joy was a “quiet” baby. She didn’t make cooing and babbling sounds like my other children did throughout their first year. She rarely cried but when she did it was loud and persistent.
A friend of mine told me her son had been a quiet baby also and that she often worried about him. Her son was quite a bit older than Joy and he had outgrown his quietness and developmentally was fine. She recommended I see her child’s pediatrician for a second opinion. I took her advice.
The pediatrician noted that, “Joy is well-developed, well-nourished, happy and responsive to vocal stimulation. She crawls well and investigates well and is interested in the environment. She pulled to a standing position unassisted and cruised about the furniture. She is interested in and grasps objects on the chair. She does not vocalize although she certainly does hear. There is nothing I can really specifically identify. My impression is that motor development appears to be essentially within the normal range.
Lack of vocalization and imitation speech sounds may not be normal but I do not believe that at the present time there is definite or significant retardation.” The doctor recommended we return in 3 months for reevaluation.
At 15 months the pediatrician watched Joy and noted that, “She reaches and points. She grunts if she wants something. Uses her hands well. Crawls up steps and down. Waves bye-bye. She pulls to a stand and cruises around investigating her environment.” He commented to me, “See how she stands up on her toes to peer at that object?” He noted, “There is a delay in verbalization and gross motor development. I think it might be good to have Joy seen by a neurologist just to confirm what I’m seeing.”
I thought, “Good, we will settle this once and for all and I will finally be able to have some peace.”
When we met with the pediatric neurologist she said, “You realize, Mrs. Martz, that often when we see these types of delays the child has learning disabilities and may be slower in school.” I was a bit taken back by what she said because the pediatrician had told me he thought she was doing OK, but I thought, “Whew, I can deal with a learning disability. A learning disability means the child has a different way of learning and we will need to work with her more than we did Mike and Jill.”
I had no idea of what was to come….
